vinyarb

As much as I like Keanu Reeves, and read about his sad circumstances surrounding his family, and tales of his extreme generosity toward his film crew, I really don’t understand what he was doing in 47 Ronin.

Based on a real life group of 18th century samurai, it’s supposed to be a tale about maintaining honour and integrity, as well as the plotting of vengeance against the murderer of their master. But nooo, they had to weave in a story about one of the ronins being a half breed human-demon (Keanu), a sexy witch shape-shifter, and random CGI orcs, monsters and one heavily tattooed guy, who has his own character poster, but less than 3 minutes of screen time.

Keanu Reeves is Kai, a half breed human-demon who is servant to Lord Asano. When Lord Asano is framed, and subsequently ordered to commit seppuku (death by suicide), his band of samurai become masterless (ronins), and banished from the land by Lord Kira, the person who framed Asano.

The ronins, led by Oishi, secretly plan vengeance. However, as Lord Kira is aided by sexy witch-fox-dragon thing Rinko Kikuchi, they need to enlist the help of Kai, whose mysterious past and possible demonic links could tip the odds in their favour.

Somewhere in the midst of all this, we run into mythical creatures, weird 3 minute tattoo face guy (whose real life backstory is so much more interesting than the film), chopstick-wielding hair and lizard face monster monks, while words like honour and vengeance are bandied about freely in a “tell, not show” manner.

The rambling narrative makes the 2 hour runtime feel like 4 hours, and Rinko Kikuchi (Pacific Rim) tries too hard to be sultry, but just comes across looking irritated and uncomfortable wearing coloured contacts.

Bonn Rating: 4/10

Aw man, give those poor dwarves a break!

They are an industrious bunch of people. Nice, a little rowdy when drunk, but come on, who isn’t? They have excellent craftsmanship, and yet, they seem to be despised wherever they go.

Where we last left the dwarves, they were dropped off by the eagle express, albeit a little too far from Lonely Mountain. From there, they are (still) chased by the Orcs, captured by the elves, bullied by a Beorn, attacked by giant spiders, dumped in fish barrels, and mocked by the very dragon that rendered them homeless in the first place!

Give those poor sods a little respect. Afterall, let’s not forget that they are potentially the owners of a gold-laden mountain, once they find a way to rid themselves of that haughty Smaug.

This year, the sequels all seem to have managed to shrug off the negatives of their predecessor, and manage to tell better stories while providing tighter action set pieces.

Plus, hot female elf alert!!

http://memphisbbqnetwork.com/events/2020-12-23/ Rating: 8/10

After surviving the harrowing Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta make their way back to District 12, only to be told that her actions had sparked off a revolt, that could culminate in all out war between the districts and the Capitol.

In order to placate the masses, Katniss would have to convince everyone that she did what she did out of love for Peeta, and not in defiance of the Capitol. When the crowd remained unconvinced, Plutarch, the new Head Gamemaker comes up with a brilliant idea for the Quarter Quell, by introducing an all-star hunger games edition.

So back they go into the 75th Hunger Games for more hunger, uneasy alliance, high-tech obstacles, and Josh Hutcherson’s stiff acting.

With seasoned ex-winners this time round, and the overhanging threat of an all-out war about to break out, this 2nd of 4 Hunger Games film finally delivers. The pacing, action and overall direction is much, much better than the first.

The movie ends on a cliffhanger, rather like the book, and this time, I’m actually excited to see what’s going to happen next.

Rating: 8/10

But I think the person most excited will be Ms Jennifer Lawrence herself. She got a HUGE bump in salary, from $500,000 to $10,000,000 to reprise her role as Katniss Everdeen! Ka-CHING!