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There are only so many scenes you can write into a horror story, especially that of a haunted house story. Darkness just beyond the doors, creaking noises, automatic doors, smashed photo frames, figures in mirrors, being pulled out of your bed.

They’ve been done to death, honestly. But when James Wan does it, fuck it’s scary!

Of course, it helps when the tag “Based on a True Story” is neatly sewn on at the start of the film.

The Conjuring tells the story of 2 families, the Warrens who are a couple of paranormal investigators and the Perrons, who shares their new home with 5 daughters, a demon witch, and a few other wandering ghosts.

Kids, this is what banks do when you don’t pay your mortgage…

The usual things happen. Strange noises at night, unexplained bruises appearing after a fitful night’s sleep. Then things begin to escalate. At almost 2 hours long, which is unusual for a horror flick, it allows for a pretty slow burn, and to establish the characters, so that when shit hits the fan, we really wish to see the Perrons come out of it alive, rather than anticipate the kill scenes.

Compared to James’ earlier effort Insidious, I find The Conjuring a much more suspenseful film. The hide and clap scene in particular, and the subsequent cellar scene was intense!

Now excuse me while I go hide under my sheets.

Avignon Rating: 7/10

purchase accutane (isotretinoin) The Annabelle Doll Story

In an unrelated case in the film, a large part of the story revolved around an earlier case investigated by the Warrens, whereby they retrieved the Annabelle Doll.

The doll would apparently move on its own, with minute position changes initially, and then moved on to appearing in a different room altogether. A medium was invited, and he told of the story of 7 year old Annabelle Higgins, whose spirit had latched on to the doll, and who felt an affinity for the doll’s owner, Donna, and wanted to be friends.

Being a nursing student and probably never seen any horror movies, she felt sympathy for the ghost, and allowed her to remain in the doll. Then things escalated.

The Warrens were invited, and they said it was not a ghost, but a demon that was manipulating the doll in order to get close to, and possess Donna. They did an exorcism and brought Annabelle the doll back with them,

The doll currently resides in the private Occult Museum (where it apparently still moves, sometimes), managed by Lorraine Warren at the back of her house, together with other supernatural artifacts / possessed stuff.

That story really intrigued me, and I hope James Wan will pursue that story in the inevitable sequel.

Of course, how “true” this is, depends entirely on how much you believe in the supernatural, and one couple’s word.

Below is an image of the real Annabelle doll. Above is the movie’s version.

Which is scarier?

The Wolverine takes place after the events of The Last Stand, where Logan had to ultimately put a knife to his beloved Jean Grey. Deeply saddened by this, he goes to live a hobo lifestyle and moves into Canadian wilderness with the grizzlies.

A little later, he’s persuaded by a Japanese chick Yukio, to take a trip to Tokyo, to meet with Yashida, an old but powerful CEO who owes Logan a life debt, and wants to repay him. Turns out Logan once saved a young Yashida at Nagasaki from the Atomic bombs, and shared with him his regenerative abilities.

An inspired Yashida has since spent his entire life trying to recreate Logan’s agelessness and awesomeness. He ultimately reveals to Logan that he doesn’t want to die, and has found a way to transfer the regenerative cells from Logan to himself, and grant both their respective wishes.

Caution handling ‘live’ foodstuff

Logan says ‘No’, and proceeds to go all badass on Japan.

He takes on ninjas, lovehotels, Japanese chicks, bullet trains and the Silver Samurai.

The Wolverine works as a stand-alone story within the X-Men universe. The set in Japan plot also helps keep it fresh. There’s decent action, but in terms of ninja action, I still think the G.I. Joe: Retaliation mountain-side scene still rocked.

Oh, and stay for the post-credits scene. It’ll lead very very nicely into ‘Days of Future Past’.

Rating: 6/10

RED 2 is really fun.

If you’ve seen RED, you’ll need no introduction to the main cast of Bruce Willis, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren as former black ops agents disrupted out of retirement in the last installment for a lesson on how being older doesn’t necessarily make you less of a badass.

Think The Expendables, but funny. And good.

In RED 2, we waste no time on introductions and within 8 minutes of run time, we’d have witnessed an explosion, a funeral, an interrogation and the decimation of a crack team of CIA agents. In a fun and light-hearted way of course.

The sequel adds Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta Jones and Korean eye candy Lee Byung Hun on top of the main cast, and piles on the action. Although entertaining, it does feel a little too long at times as they team travel the world in search of a new, portable nuclear bomb capable of escaping detection while under fire from all directions by all sorts of frenemies.

It’s one of those films where you’d imagine the cast having a ball of a time together, fooling around, having fun, then collecting their paycheques, like I imagine the Oceans franchise to be.

Bastards.

Rating: 6/10

Thank you omy.sg for the preview tickets to RED 2.

Way before you step into the movie theatre for a screening of Pacific Rim, you’d already be expecting a massive, action packed film filled with as much testosterone as one can fill, with a synopsis that reads “humans build giant robots to fight giant monsters to the death as a last resort to defend humanity”.

But just in case you had any semblance of hope that there might be some level of plot or intelligent discourse as to the origins of the giants, all you had to do was look at who plays the scientist, and you’ll know, nope.

Yeah, when Charlie Day is the resident scientist in any film, all plot goes out the window.

But if you’re here to watch giant robots fight giant monsters to the death, wow. You’re not going to be disappointed. The robots are shiny, the monsters are ferocious.

Aaargh! Kaiju of the Opera!!

An interdimensional portal opens up under the sea floor in the Pacific, and from the portal enters enormous monsters (named ‘Kaiju’) who surface and lay waste to cities such as Japan, US, Hong Kong and Australia. As their appearances increase in frequency, humanity bands together and builds giant robots called Jaegers to fight the Kaijus.

As the Jaegers are starting to prove inefficient under increasing attacks and the Kaijus’ adaptations to their fighting style, the Jaeger program, headed by Stacker Pentecost, decide to use their remaining Jaegers in a last ditch attempt to use a nuclear device to blast and seal the portal.

In the meantime, scientists are trying to study the remains of the monsters in a bid to understand them, and find a way to defeat them once and for all. Will the plan work? What will the scientists find? Do you really care? All you want are great fight scenes between Jaegers and Kaijus, and that you’ll get plenty.

face obscured by shadow. Still a better actor than you.

Unfortunately, the film is let down by the mainly C cast of actors, who really jolt me out of the movie experience everytime they try to emote. It’s especially sad, when among the cast, the best actress is little girl Mana Ashida, who plays young Mako Mori.

The “Tonight, we are cancelling the apocalypse” sounds good in the trailer, but when you listen to the entire speech, it’s out-of-this-world lame.

Rating: 6/10

I was so stoked to see “Now You See Me”. Just think about it. A heist thriller, only with magicians planning the heists with cool sleight of hands and outlandish trickery!

And look at the cast! Jesse I’m CEO, Bitch! Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman! There’s even James Franco’s brother!

There was just so much going for it. Well, I guess it’s true that expectations inevitably kills satisfaction.

Four independent magicians, via a secret mysterious tarot card invitation, convene and form a collective group known as “The Four Horsemen”. After getting funding from insurance magnate Michael Caine, they open their show in Vegas.

For the finale of their opening show, they invite a member of the audience to help them “rob a bank”. He is teleported to a bank in Paris, activates an airduct, and the money is transported through the airduct out onto audiences in Vegas.

Voila! A Pepsi can! Which will play a crucial plot point in World War Z!

Following the show, FBI agent Mark Ruffalo was assigned to investigate the case. They had no evidence of theft, and had no choice but to free the horsemen. Mark Ruffalo then goes to seek the help of magic debunker Morgan Freeman to help explain their tricks in order to try and catch them in the act for their next show.

As can be expected of a game of cat and mouse, the cat is always a step behind, while the horsemen go through their acts. What is the ultimate play for the Horsemen? Who is the mysterious fifth horsemen, if you will?

Will the horsemen succeed in pulling off their final show, and reveal the end-game?

They do and it is, but The Prestige this is not.

At the end of the day, after all the smoke and mirrors have dissipated, you find that all you’re left with, is a dull fake thumb.

Rating: 4/10

With 2 terrorist attacks White House movies out within 3 months of each other, there’s bound to be lots of comparison between them both.

The premise for both films are very similar as well. The White House is compromised after a complex terrorist attack disables the defense system and holds the President hostage. It is up to one man to fight back and rescue the most important person in the world!

Olympus has Fallen consists of a more serious looking cast, with Aaron Eckhart playing the President, and Gerard Butler the one-man army. White House Down has Channing Tatum playing the hero, with Jamie Foxx as the POTUS.

Olympus has the more impressive action sequences, while WHD has the lighter, comedic touches that makes the film easier to sit through.

Pity, I think if both movies were mashed up, the result would have been one better, tighter film, rather than two very average actioners.

If push comes to shove, I’d say I enjoyed White House Down slightly more because it has more heart.

Also, Channing has a bigger.. gun.

Rating: 5/10

I’m conflicted about anthology films. On the one hand, there’s not enough time to build up the story, characters don’t usually have proper arcs. On the other hand, more stories, things escalate at a much quicker rate, and in this case, more horror!

I didn’t really like the original V/H/S, but they’ve really tightened the sequel. And the best part is, you don’t even have to wade through the first to appreciate the second.

There are 5 stories, including the framing story, and at a running time of 96 minutes, we’re given slightly less than 20 minutes per story:

Tape 49

Two private investigators take on a case of a missing college student. On entering the student’s home (at night, of course), they find a stack of VHS tapes, as well as a still recording video on it.  The man goes to explore the house for clues, and he instructs the lady to plow through the tapes to see if there’s anything useful in locating the boy.

This sets up the story, and it is through this method that we’re exposed to the other stories. The payoff for this framing narrative naturally comes right at the end.

Phase I Clinical Trials

After a horrible accident that leaves a man’s right eye blind, he undergoes a new implant technology that restores his eyesight with a camera. In return, the camera will record everything he sees for research purposes.

I can haz Google Lenz!

If you’ve seen either version of The Eye, you’ll know what happens next. A “bug” in the camera-eye results in the young man starting to see things that go bump in the night.

He then meets a young woman who’s also recently undergone a similar operation for her ear…

Can they survive this together? Well, where’s the fun in that?

A Ride in the Park

This segment is filmed using a Go-Pro mounted camera, and is a POV-styled segment on a cyclist taking his bike for a spin in the park. Things quickly go south, and I think for the first time in cinematic history, we actually get a zombie POV short! I actually enjoyed this segment the most, because it’s mainly a lot of fun.

Safe Haven

A film crew gets invited into an Indonesian cult to film a documentary about what the cult does behind their closed doors. Unfortunately for them, the founder of the cult has other plans.

In terms of scope and jaw-drop factor, I think this one takes the cake.

Slumber Party Alien Abduction

This is exactly what the title says, which sounds awesome, but I felt was the weakest link in all the stories. Not quite sure why this was the last story in the entry, cos it sort of brought down the highs from ‘Safe Haven’, and almost let the entire film down with a whimper.

The shaky cam was employed too much, the action too dark, and the sound too drowning, that half the time, I didn’t know what was happening.

Still, on an overall, we got 2 decent stories, 2 awesome ones, and a forgettable dump.

That’s still pretty good in my books!

But seriously, if they were to produce a third offering, they should consider naming it DVD. At the very least.

Rating: 7/10

World War Z has finally made it to theatres! Optioned by Brad Pitt’s Plan B Entertainment in 2007, Max Brook’s novel, an oral history of humanity’s global war against the undead was always going to be a tricky one to tackle.

Boasting an initial budget of 120million, it was way higher than any other zombie flicks (28 days later was made for £5m, Zack Snyder’s 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead cost $24m). But rightfully so, if we were to really witness the type of global epidemic recounted in the book.

Mired in constant re-writes that included calling in Damon Lindelof and Drew Goddard to overhaul the final act of the script ( of which the original cut had been filmed, mind you), budget overages and rumoured on-set riffs between director Marc Forster and producer/star Brad Pitt, it’s really a miracle in itself that a coherent final cut got made.

But let’s forget all that. Cos when you’re sat in that darkened cinema, and the curtains draw open, only what’s shown onscreen matters.

And boy was it epic!

Fans of the novel take note: the only thing similar to the film, apart from the title, is that there are zombies.

Gerry Lane, a former UN investigator, is a caring family man. How do we know that? He makes pancakes for his daughters. Also makes cooing noises to calm his daughter down when she has an asthma attack. And that’s all the time we have for setting that up, cos things escalate quickly, as they’re trapped in a traffic jam when all hell breaks loose in downtown Philly.

There’s a buffet other side of the wall guys!

The speed and scale at which Philadelphia was lost is chilling and exciting to watch. Gerry and family struggle to survive the night as he puts in a call to his former boss to evacuate them to safety.

They are taken to a naval ship off the coast. Safe. As long as Gerry accepts the mission to go around the world looking for clues to locate patient zero to try and formulate a vaccine or cure and turn the tide against the zombies.

He’s whisked off to South Korea and Israel (Russia as the climax to the original script has been completely left on the editing floor) where we’re treated to more zombie swarming and grand scale destruction, including a nailbiting incident aboard a commercial airliner before we’re landed on a medical research facility in Wales for a cosy and up-close encounter with the zombies.

Most intense game of Tag. Ever.

By the power of Brad Pitt and a refreshing gulp of Pepsi, a plot device is found, and the tides are turned.

“But it’s just the beginning”, narrates Brad, setting us up nicely for the already sort of greenlit sequel.

Rating: 8/10

For those interested in the production troubles, here’s a really nice write-up (long read) about it. Also, here’s the original ending.

Oh, here’s a meta idea for the sequel!

Set 10 years after the war, the sequel is about a group of movie execs trying to make a movie about this very dark times, and the troubles plaguing the production. Starring Brad Pitt as Gerry Lane. Think Tropic Thunder. Watch for a cameo from Les Grossman.

You’re welcome, Paramount and Plan B!