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Godzilla (2014)

May
24

I’m a huge fan of monster movies. Cloverfield, loved it. Pacific Rim, stupid actors, awesome sequences, loved it. The trick to watching these kaiju films, is really to just embrace the fact that there will be things out there that we can’t explain, and when the time comes when these things come out of hiding, run.

There is no explaining, there is no plotting, there’s just enjoying seeing what monsters do best. Destroy stuff. Stomp on stuff. Without a care to any humans whatsoever.

There are times in the movie where you’ll feel like it doesn’t make any sense. Questions like “Why does Godzilla not eat the MUTOs?”, “Wait, is he really just killing them for us, and then jumping back into the sea?”, and “Is he the… hero?”

There are no heroes and there are no villains. There are just… monsters. And watching it this way makes the movie better.

godzilla attacks

Sorry, need to floss

how to order Aurogra online without a prescription Watch Godzilla like we’re ants watching a dude hunt a lion

Now let’s put us into the perspective of ants. There we are, walking in and out of our ant mounds, doing what ants do all day to keep busy, harvest nuts and food and aphids, and basically going about securing the mound from what we ants call “floods”. Now, all of a sudden, a monster appears, galloping at high speeds, and destroying many of our surrounding and cities. It bellows a deafening roar, shakes its monstrous head, plonks it’s huge mass of a body down, and destroys 3 more mound entrances. The science ants nickname it a “lion”.

Us ants are all panicky, and totally out of our depths in dealing with this disaster. We can only run and burrow and hope our loved ones somehow make it, and we’ll find one another someday. When from the distance, we spy another strange monster, this one with only two legs and taller. It approaches pointing a long antenna at the “lion”. The antenna emits a searing blast, and the “lion” falls on its back, grunting its last breath.

The new monster doesn’t come forward to eat the “lion”, but instead utters a triumphant roar. It then proceeds to turn its back, make its way into the mouth of yet another mechanical looking monster with round shapes for legs, and goes off into the distance together, never to be seen again.

See, it didn’t make any sense to the ants neither.

Would have loved for it to have more Bryan Cranston though.

Rating: 7/10

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Apr
04

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is the second to last film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe before they bring down the curtains on Phase II with Avengers: Age of Ultron.

As the slate of marvel films go, this is definitely one of the better films. Capt assimilates into modern life while catching up on the last few decades with the help of the internet, by checking off a list including Star Wars / Trek, Apple, Thai food, Moon Landing and I Love Lucy. Cute.

black widow

Scarlett Johansson has a lot more lines in this movie. A lot more dialogue too!

In between catching up on history, he also takes time out to complete missions for S.H.I.E.L.D, and engaging in idle chatter with Black Widow on potential hot dates within the agency. Alas, this isn’t a romantic comedy, and evil lurks just around the corner. As S.H.I.E.L.D prepares to launch 3 new top of the line helicarrier with pre-emptive strike capabilities (think Minority Report’s pre-cogs, except each pre-cog is a fully weaponised helicarrier), able to predict using algorithms when anyone might turn rogue, or pose a threat to the establishment.

With the possibility of S.H.I.E.L.D compromised, the new weapons landing in the wrong hands become a very real possibility. When Nick Fury is taken out, and hands Steve Rogers with the heavy responsibility of finding out the truth, who can he trust? More questions get unearthed as old friends and foes arise. Who is the winter soldier? What forces are hiding behind S.H.I.E.L.D? Where the hell are his Avenger friends when he needs them?

At least 2 of these questions will be answered by the movie’s end.

And as usual, stay back for 2 stingers after the credits roll.

Rating: 9/10

Winter Soldier, Easter Egg!

Remember the scene where Steve Rogers whips out his notebook and we see the list of cultural references he means to catch up on?

Well, this list is different in different countries!

Check this out.

This is the US version with I Love Lucy.

To do list - US

And this is the UK version with Beatles and the 1966 World Cup Sean Connery instead of Steve Jobs.

To do list - UK

Apparently, the Korean version of the film has the legendary reference to “Old Boy”.

 

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13 films of 2013

Dec
29

Wow, is it that time of the year again?

2013 seems to have just flown by. As usual, we have our hits and misses, some more surprising than others. Here is my list of films that have reached out to me more than the rest this year.

13. Side Effects

side effects

Is this a medical drama? A psychological thriller? A murder conspiracy? It’s all three rolled into one, and Steven Soderbergh nails it. Rooney Mara absolutely took the role and ran with it.

12. Elysium

 elysium_movie_poster

Neill Blomkamp was always going to face an uphill climb, trying to follow-up his amazing District 9. On its own, it’s a pretty solid film, but with District 9 floating at the back of your mind, Elysium can’t help but feel like it’s a bit of a stepdown. It’s a stronger allegory on the current human condition, but everything’s better with aliens.

11. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Incredible-Burt-Wonderstone-Poster

Everyone loves magic. Add in some rivalry between old time stage magicians and new age street and close-up Criss Angel type magicians, and you get magical laughs aplenty. Interestingly, Jim Carrey, funny in the 90s, plays new age street magician, and Steve Carell, current funnyman plays the old school Vegas stage show magician.

Plus, David Copperfield cameos, and acts as technical advisor to the magic tricks performed in the show. Definitely a much better film overall than the super disappointing “Now You See Me”.

10. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

catching fire

The Hunger Games was so disappointing last year I was seriously debating if I should catch the adaptation to book 2. But boy am I glad I did. The pacing was much, much better, narrative stronger, and all round stakes were actually felt.

9. Star Trek Into Darkness

StarTrekIntoDarkness_Poster

First off, I’m biased. Anything JJ. Abrams touches, is more than likely to end up on my best of lists. I know a lot of trekkies have been giving him crap about trying to hide the very obvious fact that Cumberbatch was Khan, and that he was simply rehashing previous storylines and twisting it for the sake of twisting it.

Still, I love the way he tells a story.

8. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

desolation of smaug

I maintain my belief that the Hobbit (a single novel) should have been kept to a single, maybe 3 hour runtime film. But, split into 3 films, we see the main characters simply roaming, walking, strolling and exploring area upon area in various locales on Middle Earth.

Still, it was breathtaking scenery and mindblowing effects. Especially in the Desolation of Smaug where we finally see in its full form, Smaug.

7. Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 Poster

The man that started it all, is back to kick off phase II of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And deservedly so. There was always a fear that after The Avengers, bringing back standalone heroes could feel a little of a letdown, but it was entertaining, action packed and funny where it should be.

6. The Conjuring

The Conjuring Poster

So. Fucking. Scary.

*Clap Clap*

5. Man of Steel

Man of Steel Poster

“Superman never kills”, “Superman should have brought the fight to a rural area to ensure the least amount of fatalities!”

Come on, you’re in the thick of battle, you’re outnumbered, you do the best you can. In any war, people will die. Be realistic.

The action was great, the effects were awesome, stakes were real. Awesome stuff.

4. This is the End

 this is the end

I had thought this would be a silly movie, and it was. But it really worked. The conceit of celebrities, as celebrities, facing an end of the world scenario, was tragically funny. Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, James Franco, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride and Craig Robinson all ham it up as a version of themselves, as they take on the apocalypse and end it, one way or another.

3. V/H/S/2

VHS 2

5 horror shorts. Some good. Others better. All round good fun.

2. Gravity

Gravity_Poster

In space, no one can hear you scream. BUT it sure makes your bum look perky without all that gravitational pull! Sandra Bullock nails her fish out of water, or should I say engineer out of land role as a medical engineer on her first space mission, which, predictably goes horribly wrong.

Space is scary.

1. World War Z

World War Z Poster

I’m giving this film my top score, because it showed zero signs of a film plagued in production hell, including a final third re-write and re-shoot!

It was massive in scope, exciting, action packed, and yet intimate when it needed to be (thank god for the last act rewrite!). I think Brad Pitt did very well, considering the production troubles, to hang in there and come up with a really polished film in the end.

So, what were your favourite films of the year?

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47 Ronin

Dec
28

As much as I like Keanu Reeves, and read about his sad circumstances surrounding his family, and tales of his extreme generosity toward his film crew, I really don’t understand what he was doing in 47 Ronin.

Based on a real life group of 18th century samurai, it’s supposed to be a tale about maintaining honour and integrity, as well as the plotting of vengeance against the murderer of their master. But nooo, they had to weave in a story about one of the ronins being a half breed human-demon (Keanu), a sexy witch shape-shifter, and random CGI orcs, monsters and one heavily tattooed guy, who has his own character poster, but less than 3 minutes of screen time.

Keanu Reeves is Kai, a half breed human-demon who is servant to Lord Asano. When Lord Asano is framed, and subsequently ordered to commit seppuku (death by suicide), his band of samurai become masterless (ronins), and banished from the land by Lord Kira, the person who framed Asano.

47 Ronin

The ronins, led by Oishi, secretly plan vengeance. However, as Lord Kira is aided by sexy witch-fox-dragon thing Rinko Kikuchi, they need to enlist the help of Kai, whose mysterious past and possible demonic links could tip the odds in their favour.

Somewhere in the midst of all this, we run into mythical creatures, weird 3 minute tattoo face guy (whose real life backstory is so much more interesting than the film), chopstick-wielding hair and lizard face monster monks, while words like honour and vengeance are bandied about freely in a “tell, not show” manner.

The rambling narrative makes the 2 hour runtime feel like 4 hours, and Rinko Kikuchi (Pacific Rim) tries too hard to be sultry, but just comes across looking irritated and uncomfortable wearing coloured contacts.

Rating: 4/10

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The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Dec
22

Orc

Aw man, give those poor dwarves a break!

They are an industrious bunch of people. Nice, a little rowdy when drunk, but come on, who isn’t? They have excellent craftsmanship, and yet, they seem to be despised wherever they go.

Where we last left the dwarves, they were dropped off by the eagle express, albeit a little too far from Lonely Mountain. From there, they are (still) chased by the Orcs, captured by the elves, bullied by a Beorn, attacked by giant spiders, dumped in fish barrels, and mocked by the very dragon that rendered them homeless in the first place!

Give those poor sods a little respect. Afterall, let’s not forget that they are potentially the owners of a gold-laden mountain, once they find a way to rid themselves of that haughty Smaug.

This year, the sequels all seem to have managed to shrug off the negatives of their predecessor, and manage to tell better stories while providing tighter action set pieces.

Evangeline Lily

Plus, hot female elf alert!!

Rating: 8/10

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The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Dec
18

Catching Fire Poster

After surviving the harrowing Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta make their way back to District 12, only to be told that her actions had sparked off a revolt, that could culminate in all out war between the districts and the Capitol.

In order to placate the masses, Katniss would have to convince everyone that she did what she did out of love for Peeta, and not in defiance of the Capitol. When the crowd remained unconvinced, Plutarch, the new Head Gamemaker comes up with a brilliant idea for the Quarter Quell, by introducing an all-star hunger games edition.

So back they go into the 75th Hunger Games for more hunger, uneasy alliance, high-tech obstacles, and Josh Hutcherson’s stiff acting.

With seasoned ex-winners this time round, and the overhanging threat of an all-out war about to break out, this 2nd of 4 Hunger Games film finally delivers. The pacing, action and overall direction is much, much better than the first.

The movie ends on a cliffhanger, rather like the book, and this time, I’m actually excited to see what’s going to happen next.

Rating: 8/10

But I think the person most excited will be Ms Jennifer Lawrence herself. She got a HUGE bump in salary, from $500,000 to $10,000,000 to reprise her role as Katniss Everdeen! Ka-CHING!

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Thor: The Dark World

Nov
08

As the saying goes, a rising tide lifts all boats. 2012’s The Avengers is the aforementioned tide. There was probably never any doubt of Ironman 3’s box office clout, so Thor: The Dark World was the first real test of whether moviegoers would be keen to follow closely the individual adventures of the marvel superheroes.

The answer seems to be a resounding ‘Yes’. Well played Marvel. You now have a slate of upcoming and highly anticipated films in Phase 2, to be concluded with Avengers 2.

We last left Thor with a broken Rainbow Bridge, and a lot of wars to wage across the 9 realms in order to restore the peace that Loki had disrupted. We also learn that eons ago, Odin’s father, Bor,  had fought a long and hard war with the dark elves, led my Malekith, who wanted to restore the universe to it’s original state; Darkness, by using a magical force known as the Aether.

Bor had managed to subdue and contain the Aether and vanquished the elves, but not before Malekith and a few more of his lieutenants escaped into suspended animation.

Thor: The Dark World

Dove campaign for real elves: Not everyone looks like Orlando Bloom, and that’s OK.

As the nine realms move into a rare alignment, the borders around the realms start to bleed into each other, and Jane Foster gets sucked into a vortex, where the Aether enters her. The Aether awakens Malekith, who vows to finish the job once and for all, plunging the universe back into a dark dark world.

This time, Thor doesn’t have the help of the Avengers, and is instead dependent on Loki for assistance. This is the first time we actually see Thor and Loki working together, as Loki had mainly played the antagonist role in Thor and The Avengers.

We get to see a lot more of Asgard this time round, not just the palace, and it was great fun to see Thor and Loki working through their differences and mistrust for each other to accomplish their mission. As they say “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”. Loki really steals the limelight this time around, and the film is much better for it.

In the end, you get good laughs, decent action, and one more scene of topless Thor before the next Avengers.

As with Marvel superhero films, watch for a quick cameo of one of the other characters from the series, and do stay back for end of film credits (there are 2 of them).

Rating: 7/10

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The Internship

Aug
30

The Internship has been spat on by critics for being a “two hour corporate video”, and “the longest advert I’ve seen in cinema”, but honestly, in a movie about having the opportunity to work in google, they’ve actually barely scratched the surface.

Vince Vaughn (also with screenwriting and producing credits) teams up once again with Owen Wilson (The Wedding Crashers) as two travelling watch salesmen, whose employer has winded down business (because, we apparently all tell the time on our iPhones now).

In need of a job, but without any practical skills, they go from googling for jobs to interviewing for an internship opportunity at Google. While they may have few skills, they do (or at least Vince) have the gift of the gab, and so they talk their way into the Internship, and from there on, its Life Experience vs Coding Creds.

The Internship

I told you this “making a movie about google” thing will score us free passes to the GooglePlex! Did I tell you they have free food?

The interns are split into groups, and naturally, Vince and Owen end up in the “rejects” corner, alongside 3 other outcasts, and its up to them to pull themselves together to achieve the impossible: A full time job offer with Google (only members from the top team will have this opportunity)

Bug decoding, App development, Quidditch (yes, quidditch) and of course converting a new customer to using Adwords are all different segments in which the teams will be scored against.

Rose Byrne provides the requisite eye candy, a 30ish executive at Google who puts in (too many) hours at the Googleplex, whom Owen manages to charm, by throwing out joke after joke of how she’s been missing out on a decade of bad dates.

The story may be a predictable plod, but Vince and Owen’s easy chemistry, with the gameness of the supporting team of nerds to play geek, help lift this otherwise run of the mill comedy into something fun.

To cap off this “two hour advert”, we even get a glimpse of Sergey Brin as… well, Sergey Brin.

Rating: 7/10

Google Interview Questions

Google is, or was (it has since been banned, or not taken into account in overall interviewee assessments), famous for asking impossibly difficult brainteasers to interviewees, to judge how they think and how they would attack at questions creatively.

Questions like “how many golf balls can fit into a bus” or “how much would you charge to clean all of San Francisco’s windows” are fair play alongside “what makes you think you’d fit in with Google”.

To that end, the film’s interview question was apparently a legit one as well.

Here’s how Vince and Owen answered the question “you’re shrunk to the size of a nickel and placed in an empty blender turned on, what do you do” it in the film. Hilarious.

Landing a job at the Goog can be such a great outcome for some people, that intense preparation, including gamifying for his interview is a worthwhile exercise.

Taking over the world

Google started as a technology company, its main product a search engine, dedicated to organizing the world’s information. That was in 1998.

Since then, Google has expanded massively into other spaces. They now have their hands in operating systems (desktop and mobile), email, productivity suite (Docs and Drive), Video (Youtube), and many others.

amanda rosenberg

Get a job at Google, bang the boss, set for life. Boom!

They have also moved on from a driving technology in the digital space to conquering the real world with Google Glass and their driverless car project. Whilst the bulk of Google’s revenue is still coming from their advertising stream, when Glass and the driverless cars kick off, I see their revenue numbers shooting for the sky.

Speaking of sky, Google founders Larry and Sergey are also heavily involved in renewable energy projects (which will definitely grow in importance as the world uses up its natural resources) and also, together with James-Titanic-Cameron, looking into ways of mining passing asteroids for resources.

I predict Google will become a much bigger mega-conglomerate in the near future. I just hope that by that time, they still remember to not be evil.