Godzilla (2014)


I’m a huge fan of monster movies. Cloverfield, loved it. Pacific Rim, stupid actors, awesome sequences, loved it. The trick to watching these kaiju films, is really to just embrace the fact that there will be things out there that we can’t explain, and when the time comes when these things come out of hiding, run.

There is no explaining, there is no plotting, there’s just enjoying seeing what monsters do best. Destroy stuff. Stomp on stuff. Without a care to any humans whatsoever.

There are times in the movie where you’ll feel like it doesn’t make any sense. Questions like “Why does Godzilla not eat the MUTOs?”, “Wait, is he really just killing them for us, and then jumping back into the sea?”, and “Is he the… hero?”

There are no heroes and there are no villains. There are just… monsters. And watching it this way makes the movie better.

godzilla attacks

Sorry, need to floss

Watch Godzilla like we’re ants watching a dude hunt a lion

Now let’s put us into the perspective of ants. There we are, walking in and out of our ant mounds, doing what ants do all day to keep busy, harvest nuts and food and aphids, and basically going about securing the mound from what we ants call “floods”. Now, all of a sudden, a monster appears, galloping at high speeds, and destroying many of our surrounding and cities. It bellows a deafening roar, shakes its monstrous head, plonks it’s huge mass of a body down, and destroys 3 more mound entrances. The science ants nickname it a “lion”.

Us ants are all panicky, and totally out of our depths in dealing with this disaster. We can only run and burrow and hope our loved ones somehow make it, and we’ll find one another someday. When from the distance, we spy another strange monster, this one with only two legs and taller. It approaches pointing a long antenna at the “lion”. The antenna emits a searing blast, and the “lion” falls on its back, grunting its last breath.

The new monster doesn’t come forward to eat the “lion”, but instead utters a triumphant roar. It then proceeds to turn its back, make its way into the mouth of yet another mechanical looking monster with round shapes for legs, and goes off into the distance together, never to be seen again.

See, it didn’t make any sense to the ants neither.

Would have loved for it to have more Bryan Cranston though.

Rating: 7/10

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