vinyarb

Bro bro bro! Shiok ah!

Apr
29

Not sure if you’ve noticed, but recently, we’ve had two commercials come out of STB and NEA, of which both TVCs are made up of entirely, 1 word.

STB just launched a new tvc, where they tell us and foreigners what’s “shiok” in Singapore. And with that, we see montages of different activities, punctuated by the words “Shiok”, uttered in as many different intonations as possible. A shout of triumph, a whisper of awe, and everything in between.

 

Then we have NEA launching an awareness campaign to alert smokers of no smoking zones such as common areas of all residential buildings, within 5 metres of bus shelters etc. The tagline is “Don’t let your bros get fined”. The various TVCs show a man about to light up at one of these zones, and a friendly, albeit creepy, bro, starts trying to warn his friend. By shouting “Bro” incessantly, and frantically pointing to a warning sign about being fined.

 

I think this signals a larger conspiracy theory behind it all.

Were all our copywriters and scriptwriters in the advertising agencies kidnapped somehow? And someone wants it covered up?

Incidentally, I think both campaigns were done by BBH APAC. So yeah. There’s definitely something going on with their copy department. OR an internal bet with huge stakes is being played.

Marketing Comments Off on Bro bro bro! Shiok ah!

Humanity celebrates presence on Mars by drawing a huge penis on it

Apr
25

Yeah! How about that, aliens! We were here first!

How do we tell the Universe humans were on Mars first? We doodle a dick on it.

Because we’re mature like that.

Funny Comments Off on Humanity celebrates presence on Mars by drawing a huge penis on it

Oblivion

Apr
22

Oblivion Poster

In 2017, Earth was attacked by aliens known as Scavengers. They destroyed the moon (which only made it more beautiful, kinda like a manly scar), which caused all sorts of natural disasters. Nuclear war against the scavengers also rendered Earth largely uninhabitable.

As the 5 minute voiceover so helpfully clarifies, “we won the war, but lost the planet”.

The year is now 2077, and Tom Cruise is Jack Harper, a drone technician, in charge of maintaining weaponised drones equipped to seek out the last remaining scraps of scavengers, and protect machinery built to extract Earth’s resources for use.

Most of humanity now either reside in the Tet (a space station Jack’s scheduled to return in the next 3 weeks), or on Titan, Saturn’s moon, where we’ve colonized. He works in a team with lover Victoria, but often dreams of a hotter woman at night. His dream abruptly turns into reality when a spaceship Odyssey crashes on Earth, carrying a number of sleeping capsules with humans in hibernation, in one of which lays Julia (Olga Kurylenko).

Obviously, by this stage, the director clearly wants us to ponder over these questions: Who is this mysterious woman he dreams of? Why did the drones attack the humans in the sleeping capsules? Are the aliens really defeated? Where does Morgan Freeman get his cigars in a post apocalyptic world? How long more till the movie ends?

Like Tron Legacy, Joseph Kosinski manages builds a really beautiful world, with awesome looking tech laid out on a barren, desolate landscape. It’s his sense of pacing and story development that’s sorely lacking, and results in a film that feels 20 minutes too long.

Besides ogling at the half destroyed moon and the awesome architecture, there’s really not much else going for it.

Come on, you know you want a ride... *wink*

Come on, you know you want a ride… *wink*

Also, the climax is so anti-climatic and borderline dumb, you’d actually have enjoyed the movie better if you left the cinema with 10 minutes to go.

Come to think of it, the entire movie seemed like a bet Joseph Kosinski took up, to have an alien invasion film, without ever showing any aliens. Challenge Accepted!

Rating: 5/10

Movie would have been a 4 if not for the other bright spark in the film: Olga Kurylenko

Olga Kurylenko

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Apr
19

Incredible-Burt-Wonderstone-Poster

When I was young, I remember being wowed by David Copperfield’s Great Wall trick, as well as making the Statue of Liberty disappear. That was in the late 80s – early 90s, and magic was often dark and mysterious, and full of elaborate costumes and beautiful assistants.

As we progressed into the world of reality TV, newer magicians like David Blaine and Criss Angel, and my favourite illusionist Derren Brown burst onto the scene, with more visceral and in-your-face magic, blending mentalism, live audience circling the performer and a prowling cameraman to capture the most authentic angles and ensure the trick was rooted in reality.

Once, it was perfectly fine to saw a woman in half covered in a box. But with the advent of youtube and the opening up of the information superhighway, that trick was quickly explained away as “that box is bigger than it looks”.

So now, n Criss Angel’s Believe (in 2012), the game’s since been upped to saw a woman in half on an open plank. Gross, but man, how’d he do that?!

In a similar vein, we see 2 old time Vegas stage show magicians trying to keep up and stay relevant in the age of street magicians.

Steve Carell plays the titular Burt Wonderstone, half of the duo, together with Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi), who were once popular stage magicians. However, 10 years performing the same tricks over and over cost them an audience and passion, resulting in them going through the motions to a 20% crowd.

In danger of losing their headlining act, things get worse when street magician Steve Gray (a back to form Jim Carrey) starts grabbing the headlines (and the money), with his antics and a tv show, Brain Rapist.

Guess where your card is?

Guess where your card is?

Together, Burt and Anton has to get their act together, if they are to have any chance at redemption.

Burt Wonderstone received pretty bad reviews, mostly for its uneven tone and pacing. But I was just entranced by the magic on display. Sure, there are problems with the film, but I came away liking what I saw.

And if I were to experience that last trick in the audience, I’d be super impressed!

Also, bonus points for casting Olivia Wilde as the magician enthusiast-assistant.

Rating: 7/10

Fun fact: David Copperfield not only had a cameo in the film, but also acted as a consultant on set.

Movie Reviews Comments Off on The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Woman seeks Robb Stark lookalike for a good time on the Iron Throne

Apr
11

Oh hey guys,

If you happen to look like Robb Stark from Game of Thrones, and lives near New Orleans, it could be your lucky night(s). A girl who happens to be a huge GoT fan just got herself a replica Iron Throne, and is willing to test the sturdiness of the throne rigorously, if you know what I mean.

This is what she wants:

I am an avid fan of George R. R. Martin’s series Game of Thrones (both the books and the show). I have recently purchased a replica of the Iron Throne as seen in the television show, and need a partner to play out an elaborate fantasy.

In my fantasy, I am Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, and Rightful Heir to the Iron Throne and the Seven Kingdoms. After crossing the Narrow Sea and defeating the forces of Westeros, it is within my power and right to slay all of those who betrayed my family and denied me my rightful place for so many years. The most vile enemies of house Targaryen, House Stark and House Baratheon must pay the highest price. All of those who fought against the Mother of Dragons are slain – all except one.

When I come to Robb Stark, out eyes lock and something moves inside of me. I realize I need to have him, want him, and I can tell he is thinking the same. I order my guards to throw him in the dungeon and later that night, I have him brought to me, in the throne room. There, on the Iron Throne I’ve so recently won, I make wild and passionate love with him, repeatedly.

Please only respond to this post if you look like Robb Stark! I would appreciate pictures, but please, no names. In order to stay as true to the fantasy as possible, I ONLY want you to refer to yourself as Robb Stark. You will need to provide your own clothing. Please keep in mind that you will have recently participated in a battle and been thrown in a dungeon, so you will not be wearing your nicest furs.

I’m looking for a Stark in the streets but a wildling in the sheets.

Winter (and at least 2 other people) is coming.

Musings, TV Watch Comments Off on Woman seeks Robb Stark lookalike for a good time on the Iron Throne

Paypal – The payment gateway of choice for Queen Ants

Apr
08

Google, for all its superior algorithms and targeting capabilities, sometimes just doesn’t work.

OR, there’s something going on between Paypal and Antdom that we’re not aware of.

Should we be afraid?

Funny, Musings Comments Off on Paypal – The payment gateway of choice for Queen Ants

Is blackberry too late to the casual gaming game?

Apr
08

Blackberry’s often differentiated themselves and marketed themselves as a trusted phone for the power suits, businessmen and government officials. Hell, even the POTUS uses a blackberry (and still does).

Who has time to play games when they’re wheeling and dealing and making multi-billion dollar decisions on a daily basis? All they need is a solid email workhorse.

And that stance has seen them lose market share quicker than celebrities tweeting a rogue nipple.

Casual gaming does not seem to be a fad, and is in fact growing from quarter to quarter, despite Zynga’s falling share price. So its no surprise then that Blackberry is starting to woo game developers with Blackberry 10. Afterall, its do-or-die time.

So Game Developers, if you think Blackberry still has a chance to jump back into the mobile game, you may want to check this out and give it a spin.

If this takes off, the next time you see President Obama hunched over and furiously swiping his phone, its either very bad news regarding North Korea, or he’s in a very bad situation getting his plants to stage an effective defense against zombies.

Digital Comments Off on Is blackberry too late to the casual gaming game?

Okay, this is so not helping my Omphalophobia

Apr
05

I have Omphalophobia. No, it’s not some disease where I lay awake at night, haunted by dancing oompa loompas around my bed. It’s however, an irrational but very real fear of belly buttons. To be more specific, the fear of other people (and to a certain extent, myself) touching my belly-button.

In a survey done on some 60 volunteers to see the types of microbial life living in their belly-buttons, they found on average, 67 different types of bacteria in each belly-button.

Help me.